one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
