just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
