porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
