When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize