so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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