That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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