Midget sex pt 2 tonight
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Randomize
