I wish my penis had an off switch
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Randomize
