Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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