i jhust puked up my retainher.
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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