You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Randomize
