how can u be prego again
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
