Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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