i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
