Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
