I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
