Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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