u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
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