don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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