does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
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