i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize