Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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