mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
