and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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