Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
