So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Randomize
