I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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