I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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