I wish I could punch you in the face.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
