3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Randomize
