Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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