I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize
