I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
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