Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
