Where did you get a picture of my penis
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Two words: blizzard sex
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Randomize
