She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
