it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
