you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Randomize
