can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
