Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
