i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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