Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
