I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
