I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
