You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
