bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
