I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
third nipple confirmed
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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