we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
These tits shall not be calmed
Randomize
