I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
