Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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