She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
