...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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