I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
