ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Randomize