he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Randomize
