New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
