Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
