So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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