It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
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