I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
