Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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