i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
The air was thick with penises
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
