Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Randomize
