apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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