No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
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