It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
