Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
