then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Randomize
