ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Randomize
