Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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