I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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