So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
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