walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
i out mim tonsoeep
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