I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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